There comes a time when we all have lost someone dear to us. Separation, demise, broken friendships, health problems, etc. These causes of grief can make anyone feel great pain, and thinking that this feeling will never end, we may wonder if it is possible for that agony to go away.

The first thing an individual must do to solve this painful feeling is to know the process of grieving and how it looks unique for everyone. Here are the process or stages of grief:

Denial

When we suffer from an overwhelming pain of loss, we tend to go through the first stage of grief, which is denial. This is because it would let the individual think that they are not feeling such pain, which helps minimize the damage to one’s heart.

We are trying to cope with emotional grief while processing the truth of our loss. It’s difficult to realize we’ve lost someone significant in our lives, mainly if we just spoke with them the week before or even the day before.

At this moment of loss, a person fails to control their own reality and reflect on the moments they shared with the person that they lost. An individual may wonder how to move on with life without the one person they suffered their loss from.

There’s a lot of material to sift through here, as well as a lot of distressing visuals to comprehend. Rather than risking feeling overwhelmed by our feelings, denial aims to slow down the process and guide us through it one step at a time.

Anger

Anger and irritability may be felt after losing a loved one as we cannot accept the fact that they are gone. This is normal because grief can make us feel and let out unexpected emotions.

It is best to keep in mind that anger does not necessitate a high level of vulnerability. It is yet, more generally suitable than admitting we are terrified. Anger allows us to let out our feelings without the fear of being judged or overruled.

When we begin to discharge loss-related emotions, rage is often the first emotion we experience. This might make you feel estranged in your experience and distant from others at a time when we need comfort, connection, and reassurance the most.

Bargaining

When you’re dealing with a loss, it’s common to feel so desperate that you’ll do virtually anything to relieve or reduce the agony. When we lose someone very dear to us, we may envision any way we can prevent the sorrow we are facing or the pain we expect to experience as an outcome of the loss.

When we begin bargaining, we are frequently addressing our wishes to a higher power or to someone larger than ourselves, who may be able to affect a different conclusion. This sensation of helplessness might lead to us negotiating in protest, giving us a false feeling of control over something which feels so out of control.

We prefer to focus on our faults and flaws or regrets when bargaining. We could reflect on our relationships with the person we’re losing and see how often we felt estranged from them or caused them sorrow.

Depression

During the process of grieving, there comes a moment when our thoughts quiet down, and we begin to see the truth of our current circumstances. We are confronted with what has been happening since bargaining is no longer a viable option.

We intensely begin to feel more about the loss of a loved one. As our terror dissipates, the emotional fog lift, and the loss becomes more tangible and inescapable.

As the melancholy develops, we tend to draw inside ourselves. We may feel ourselves withdrawing, becoming less social, and seeking out anyone less about our problems. Dealing with depression followed by the loss of a loved one may be immensely isolating, despite the fact that it is a distinct stage of grief.

Acceptance

It’s not that we won’t continue to feel the anguish of loss when we reach a point of acceptance, but we are not opposing the truth of our circumstance anymore, and we do not attempt to change the situation anymore as we realize that it is impossible.

In this phase, sadness and regret are still possible, but the emotional coping methods of denial, bargaining, and fury are less prevalent.

The New Understanding

So there you have it, the process of grieving has been provided and explained thoroughly. As you can see, this process can be unique for everyone as it is not the usual situation that you can see every day in your lives. If you want to know more about these stages of grieving, grab a copy of G.M Crook’s “Innerlight’s: Eat and Drink My Words.” This book relates thoroughly to how a person can overcome grief and its process.

Photo by Inzmam Khan from Pexels

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